What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

What happened to the old man at his suprise party? He died from the shock.

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

Tony Romo

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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