Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

A midget, a nun, and a kangaroo walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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