In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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