How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

Why is is afraid of seven? Because seven is a date rapist

How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

3 guys walks into a park. Which one was holding the beer? None, all 3 guys were elementary kids

what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...