What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack edition. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And then does not even have four quarters to his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

an american walks out of a strip club.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops