why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Hey, did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off? Yeah, it was pretty brutal. His right arm and right leg got cut off, too.

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Why did the chIcken cross the road? To escape the holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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