- Anti Joke

Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

#So tell me what you want, what you really really want, so tell me what you want, what you really really want.# OhOk then. I'll take that photo of your mother.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

how do you get rid of diahreah? Shove pepto bismo up your butt.

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

Paper or plastic? Yes...

What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

Suicide is never the answer. Unless you ask me what I contemplated after I found out that my family was killed in a horrific traffic accident.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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