Remember Y2K? That could have been bad.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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