What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops