What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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How do you get your dog to stop barking? You snap its neck.

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What has 8 legs and makes women scream? .....Gang rape.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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what did the thief say to the man that lost his car? i stole your car.

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whats white and black, and red all over, kiren poping jacob cherry

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What do tigers dream of when they take a tiger snooze? Mike Tyson

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Hay is for horses and other hay consuming mammals.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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