What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Your mamma so jobless, that she needs a job! ~T.J.C.S.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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