How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Q. Why did little suzy fall off her swing? A. She dosen`t have any arms. Knock knock. Whos there? Not Suzy.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

Q. Why did the child's mother tell him to clean his room? A. Because his room was messy.

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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