What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

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I'm Polish.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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