I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What is 9+10? 19

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

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Knock Knock Come in

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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AIDS

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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