What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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How do you stuff a giraffe into a refrigerator? You can't, giraffes are too big.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops