A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

What was Dillon's old name? Dillon, I lied about the old name part.

A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

What's worse than dieing? Not much.

What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He believed pedestrians had the right

Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Yo mama is so hairy! Then only language she speaks is Chinese

Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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