Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the crossing gaurd allowed him to

If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it tastes good.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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