knock knock Whos there? (the boy who knocked proceeds to run away with laughter)

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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Why do sharks swim in salt water? Pepper water makes them sneeze! Why do whales swim in salt water? They can't survive in fresh water.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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A black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a priest are on plane that is on fire. What do they do? Call their family and tell them they lovedthem, because there are more than likely going to die.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Hi

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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