Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between an apple and a black person? Well theres a huge difference but they both taste good in peanutbutter

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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An American, a Canadian, an Afro-American and a Jew walk in a bar. They all order their favorite drink and go look for potential partners with whom they'd wish to engage in sexual relationships.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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