Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you wake a clown up? By pouring vinegar in his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A apple a day keeps gramar away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

thumb_up thumb_down +5

i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops