Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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Whats eight feet tall, purple, smooth, delicious, uses proper grammar, and likes dolphins. I don't know.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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