Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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If life gives you lemonade.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops