Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the marginal benefit of doing so exceeded the marginal cost.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey, I just met you

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? The Bailiffs, now get out.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Why did the chicken cro- Oh. He got run over.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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What did the black kid down the road get for Christmas? Your Bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops