Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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woman's lacrosse

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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Whats worse than suicide? death

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

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Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Chuck Norris has normal human strength.

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Q: whats the difference between a t.v and a dead baby? A: i don't have a t.v in my garage

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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