What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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It's bright in here *puts on? sunglasses* Ahhh, that's better...

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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what is the difference between a bucket of shit and a black person? the bucket the bucket

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Q: Santa Clause, the Tooth Fairy, and a rich mexican jump out of the plane at the same time. Who hit the ground first? A: The answer is none of the above, because they don't exist.

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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