Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your a christain on a lovely vacation with your family a querr waalks by. What do you do? you push the queer of the edge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Your neighbor. My neighbor who? I told you already, it's pronounced "Wu" I'm very sorry Mr. Wu.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops