What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

Knock, knock. MAN: Who's there? ... MAN: Hello? Anyone out there? ... MAN: Must be the wind.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

What do you call a bathtub full of dead babies? A tragedy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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