A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken? That one! Grandma, that's a hobo. Put your glasses on.

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

homosexual rights to marriage

If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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