I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Doctor! doctor! I feel like a bridge! That's the least of your problems you've got cancer by ndc

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops