What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue if i had a gun i would shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Whose there? I have a gun and candy, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

lybia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops