Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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What do u call a gay dinosaur Tyran a sore arse

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Dogs don't have thumbs.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Chris Brown walks into a bar. And then is politely asked to leave as the bar owner also happens to be the spokesperson for an anti-domestic violence group.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I OFFERED YOU SOME CEREAL, MADE OUT OF MY DOGS POO BY VICKY AND RENATA WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Roses are blue Violets are polka dot I suck at rhyming Pandas

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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