What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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