Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

Those who believe that Sarah Palin is dumb are living in some fantasyland. She could damn well speak as much as anyone else!

What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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