What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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What was the strangest part about meeting a girl called Suzie? She had arms.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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