Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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