Did you hear about the homosexual that walked out of a hospital? He just found out he was HIV positive. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did helen keller say when she saw a talking horse? nothing. because she didn't see the horse and they also cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and their friend Satan asked if they heard about Jesus, and they said No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops