a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Your girlfriend.

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A guy at a baseball game....

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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Son: "Mommy That Boy Over There Beat Me Up" Mom: Good I Like When You Suffer

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Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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A guy walks into a bar. But this was a bar like a pole, so the man ended up with a broken nose.

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Roses are red, pink, white or yellow. Stop stereotyping my arrogant fellow.

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Q What happened to the kid with diabetis and a one legged mom A. He got hit by a bus

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops