I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy had stage 4 skin cancer.

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because I pushed him.

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women's rights.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops