Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

What do you get when you cross a Zebra with a Sheep? Hounded by a religious group for playing God.

Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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