What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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batman farted so hes retarded

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Q:What happens when you mix Justin Bieber with a women? A: Well, since is a very highly impossible circumstance, I have no need to give a name for this.

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Why did Gavin kill Harley. Because his voices told him to.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Wha do you call a couple with aids? 2 pepole who need immediate health treatment.

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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an irishman an american and a jihadist get a plane were did they go right through my house

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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