what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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What did the cripple wish for when he saw the shooting star? A toothbrush.

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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BRANDON LUI ROCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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