Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops