Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What's worse than Monkey Ball? Super Monkey Ball. What's worse than Super Monkey Ball? The Holocaust.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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Why did the dog lick the boy's leg? Cause when the boy blew up his leg landed in the doghouse

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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women drivers>asian drivers>asian women drivers

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops