mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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These Jokes suck.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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