If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have your test results, You have cancer.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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what would you watch during a scary movie? anything you want.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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How do you get a black man down from a tree? If the man cannot climb down himself, perhaps call the fire department.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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