A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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i'm hard

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How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

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Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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your mamas so fat she tried to hang herself but the rope broke.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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