if life hands u melons, make melonade.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

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So a man walks into a hospital to see his dying wife..... walks into her room falls over and then dies

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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What's the point of going to college? There is none.

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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What's worse than getting full-blown AIDS? Finding a half-eaten worm in your apple.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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