Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Orange. Orange Who? No, this is Homeland Security. We have raised the current terrorism threat level to Orange, which means there is a high risk of terrorist attacks. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

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Why did the boy drop his lolypop Because it tasted bad

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What did the student say to the teacher, after being assigned homework? This isn't my best subject, can I stay after class for tutoring?

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Why did the boy trip? A small explosion in the center of the earth caused by a hobo created a tsunami, causes a seagull to fly off in alarm. The seagull lands on a Smart Car, causing it to crash, which sends a signal off to a satellite in space. Because of this, a massive earthquake occurs. Oh, and the boy? There was a bowl of soup left carelessly on the ground.

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Stop driving smart cars you fags

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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