- Anti Joke

Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was dead

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

An Irishman, an American, an Australian, a Chinese man, a Turk, a Brazillian, a Canadian, a Jew, an African, a German, a Mexican, a Norweigian, a Swede, a Spaniard, a Russian and an Indian walk into a bar.

Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

every cloud has a silver lining

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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