How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lisa fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms... A: Knock Knock B: Whos there? A: Definitely not Lisa....

thumb_up thumb_down

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

thumb_up thumb_down

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

thumb_up thumb_down

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

thumb_up thumb_down

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

thumb_up thumb_down

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Ben Franklin Invent Bifocals? He's a jive turkey.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops