Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

Women's rights.

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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