What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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Barny the purple dinosaur has no imagination, stuck his finger up his ass and called it masterbaition!

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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What's worse then getting a broken bone? A large marsupial charging at you with vicious speed

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black people swimming

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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Atheism

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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