Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

thumb_up thumb_down +6

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops