What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWERWHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER WHITE POWER

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Why did Jimmy's grandma never come home ? Her liver failed .

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why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Yo momma so fat, when she steps on the scales it reads 90kg

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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i cant STAND cripple jokes

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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