How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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Why wasn't Kevin Love able to draw a perfect circle. Because, he just wasn't able to get the job done

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap? - "That's for food. You should wear clothes instead."

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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People really hate it when sentenses don't end the way elephants wear hats

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops